I sit here at the end of a 12 week transformation and with the close of this
contest comes the time of course for contemplation of this process and what
it has meant to me.
One word that has kept coming to me is that of "mindfulness"...the quality
of being mindful, of being deliberate, or paying attention. For, prior to
joining this contest, it was certainly an attribute I had been lacking.
A former TT member from contest 4, I had rejoined at Christmastime after the
realization I had gained 10lb after several months of stress that had led to
increasingly poor eating patterns and, well, eating without regard at all as
to WHY I was eating. Eating standing in front of the fridge. Out of a jar.
Out of a box. Teetering closer to the line of all out binging than I had
ever been. All had begun to take a toll.
Although I had been exercising this last year and thought I had been
effective, the mirror and the camera were my powerful illuminators of the
truth of the adage "you can't out-train a bad diet".
Mortified after that epiphany of sorts, I entered the contest knowing I
needed to get more in control of things, yet with my motivation at an all
time low point. From past experience with Turbulence Training, I knew the
accountability of a contest would be the reset I needed, so I dove right in.
Getting back into the habit of twice weekly 24hr fasting quickly opened my
eyes to the cold fact that I had been resorting to my old emotional eating
self and helped me discern true hunger from the other voices. Again the
whole concept of becoming more mindful and it's effectiveness had started to
ring apparent to me.
The support of my fellow members, as well as Craig's resources and tips such
as motivational quotes helped me to begin the taming of the beast my eating
was becoming, even with the upheaval of my father receiving a diagnosis of
brain cancer midway through the contest.
At that time, I did have some eating slip-ups during my family visit, but
still did the workouts (a blessing in keeping the stress at bay), and my
fellow TT members helped me get back on track quickly. I did not need to
subconsciously keep punishing myself by eating, but just move forward from
that point on.
Slowly, I re-learned how good it felt to have a goal for myself. I
discovered again how GOOD it felt to move in a challenging way during my
workouts and to set personal bests and meet them. How good it felt to have
victories in the small things like resisting sweets at work ---to know I
COULD CHOOSE to no longer be a person hapless in the face of temptation and
at the mercy of my whims. I did have a choice and it was in MY doing to make
the right ones---NO excuses! What an empowerment for me, all these "a-ha!"
moments, of which I have been given many over this last 12 weeks.
All in all, I have learned not to take myself for granted, and have learned
how doing so had so subtly come upon me. I was sobered by how quick and easy
it was to let my old good habits slip, however I stand here thankful for the
opportunity afforded me for redemption and to set myself right again. I know
this is not a finish line really, but an ongoing journey, and I look forward
to how it all unfolds.
Thanks to Craig for all the hard work and love put into all this each day,
and to my fellow members for your infectious enthusiasm, encouragement, and
the blessing of being able to have community with you all.
Final stats:
age: 40 Day 1 Dec 27/10 --- Day 84 March 20/ 11
Weight 125lb (-11 lb)
waist (1" above navel) 26.5" (-2.5")
belly (1" below navel) 29" (-4")
hips 36" (-1")
workouts used: TT intermediate (from the main Fat Loss manual), TT
transformation 3, TT 2k9
ONWARDS!!!!
Tina
